My third day at west spring secondary school; with all sincerity, my journey of becoming a teacher only started today after a talk with the principal. I am so glad that I picked myself out of bed to come to school. It was definitely a rewarding one, the talk with the principal allowed me to see teaching in a different light. Something that I never would have known if not for this.

I have every intention to skip coming to school today. Why pick myself out of bed at 5 and take a 1.5 hour journey to school if I can be sleeping at home till 12pm and slowly make my way to the polyclinic to get a medical certificate? I chose to come and I made a good decision. Today, I learnt many things, so many that I can't possibly type every single one down here.

The main thing I've learnt was to think and act with my heart and not head when it comes to handling of the students. It works. I was told that when you look at every rowdy immature young, you see a harmless, defenceless youth in them. Like us, they are constantly seeking an identity; like us, they still can't find an identity; like us, they feel dispaired and disappointed. As a teacher, (alright, as a trainee in school doing observation) I looked at these students in class today - the same class which I observed and whine about to fellow trainees; I saw them in a different light.

Today, I saw them as young individual with great potentials who hasn't gotten a way in tackling life 'cause they're probably still enjoying their youth or are probably indifferent bout the cruel world out there. Today, I went into the same class and realised how quiet and sensible these kids can be, I looked carefully at each and every one's face and wondered what lies in their heads, what lies behind that face. And I questioned myself, I questioned my profession, I questioned my ability as a future teacher as I reflected on how superficial I was when I saw them as rowdy and mischievous young beings yesterday. I instantly felt a sense of guilt for being so judgemental, and elitist.

The same class I went to today with my mentor Miss Nisa, gave me hope. Perhaps they were better today, less rowdy, less noisy, or it could be that the principal knocked sense into my thick skull. I felt different when I was going to the class, inside the class, and out of the class. It wasn't a sense of fulfilment, it wasn't disappointment either. I was simply, i-think-the-class-is-better-today given my attitude towards their learning. It could be me, or it could be them. Nonetheless, going in with an open heart and mind to accept the come-what-mays goes a long way.

The same boy; who I talked about yesterday, who I dissed when it comes to sharing of my experiences, listened attentively to me when I was explaining individually to the class. The same boy, there was no change in attitude, behaviour or character and yet, I saw him so differently today. With an open heart and mind, I was more capable of expressing myself; my thoughts and feelings in words and I find it much easier to communicate with the students. When communication is possible, anything else seems easy. And for that, I saw another part of them. They thirst for knowledge, they seek opportunities to prove themselves, they have their potential.

However, there was this other guy who ask me if I was from the express stream or the normal academic stream after I told him that N levels would be easy and he will be able to manage it. He asked me but I refused to answer. I questioned the objective of this question and he said that if I haven't taken N levels, it will be unfair of me to say that N levels is manageable. I reflected and realised that every single student has different potential and it was indeed unfair for me to give such a comment labelling N levels as easy.

I left the class with mixed feelings; on one hand, I was glad that I was able to teach and gain the attention of the boy i thought was naughty, on the other, I was upset with myself for passing such a comment. It could have hurt the boy very much.

Every day every lesson, every single one; changes my life, thoughts and actions. I wonder what kinda person will I eventually be at the very end of the teaching career. How would teaching change me? I learnt something today, and it will probably follow me till the very end. See them with your heart, not your head.

That way, I know I've to learn to teach better.